Why I Have No Regrets About Aging Solo With No Kids
(Originally published at The Ethel/AARP)
I didn’t expect to be single and childless with 70 only a couple of years away. I thought I’d marry late, in my mid-30s, to my soulmate, and we’d have two children and two fulfilling careers.
Love came and went. None of the men I was involved with were candidates for Mr. Kirschenbaum. Would they try to clip my wings or betray me? These were my fears, and they outweighed my desire to be a mother and wife.
Friends of mine were going at motherhood alone. They were either adopting or buying sperm. That didn’t interest me.
Along the way, I had three pregnancies. None were planned, and none came to fruition. After the last one, at age 48, I did start preparing for life as a single mother. Then I had a miscarriage.
So, I do ask the obvious questions as I age solo, with no offspring. How will I manage when I’m in need? If I have an accident or come down with a debilitating disease, who will care for me? At the moment, I am not in need.
I am a filmmaker and live in an artists’ building, with many people around me. Most residents hold on to their apartments and leave only when death do they part. I get to see my future, as they go through the stages of aging. It starts with a cane, then a walker…